10 (+1) New Year's Resolutions

When I was in high school I vowed I would never make New Year's resolutions again. They were stupid and completely forgotten about by the time March rolled around. I've stuck to that vow for 6 years; this is the year I break my inner vows and come up with some resolutions! I know I'm late, but I figured if I was going to have to make resolutions for the WHOLE year I was going to take my time. So here are my New Year's resolutions of things that needed to start happening whether a new year came or not! A week late. But better late than never. 

•  Gain a deeper relationship and understanding of The Lord. Allow myself to be completely open to Him making me more like Jesus. Even if it means touching the deep stuff that I bury. Or calling out the things I quickly gain defense over. I don't want to arrive at 2016, where I physically gained a year, but spiritually I am in the same place. When I was a kid I wanted to be a marine biologist more than anything. Bump being a movie star, I wanted to be in the ocean and experience all the adventures it had to offer. I remember summers that I'd visit my dad he would always take me diving. I'd only go so deep, because there was a point to where the water pressure became too uncomfortable for me to bare. I would always rise back up to the shallows, disappointed in myself for giving up. He saw the things I wanted to because when the discomfort came he waited it out became adjusted to the new level and went deeper. Spiritually I don't want to be that nine year old girl. I refuse to miss out on the beauty of it all for fear of discomfort!
• Spend quality time with my friends and family when I'm with them, not my phone! I am the worst when it comes to this. Give me an awkward situation or allow a conversation to loose it's fascination, and out comes my phone! I've had sleepovers where I don't even know if a full conversation was held because we were on our phones! That has to stop for me! I realize I miss my friends,  because outside of my phone, sometimes I have no clue what to say to them. We've lost the crazy, fun, deep conversations. My phone is my best friend now. Sad to say and it's really embarrassing, but it's true! So This year my goal is not to completely ditch my phone, but to be present mentally and emotionally. Even my out of town friends should get something more than just a text every so often. This is the year of snailmail, plane tickets, and care packages.
• Have a healthier relationship with food and get moving. Cook more! Get creative. I love to cook! So I intend to try more recipes (12 to be exact!) and master them! Eat healthier. Limit my eating out without being a total tyrant about it. Avoid McDonald's, but never miss out on a cafe lunch date with a friend. Limit my sugar, without totally cutting it off (because let's be real if you've ever had creme brulee at Pot roast and Pinot you know why!) Exercise more, but have fun with it! I already have POUND classes, Zumba, rock climbing, aqua Zumba and much more on my calendar!
• Get our (being my best friend and I) business off the ground! Mission statements are being written. Colors have be decided. Finances are being put in order. This is our new baby! It's fun, adventurous, and a lot of work. But I'm enjoying it and every step of the way. More details on this towards Spring (*insert jumping squeal!)
• Save and get out of slavery! I have a 52 week saving plan! Which is a total first for me! But I'm no longer a 17 year girl who can drain her bank account! That is not acceptable anymore! Also pay back those beautiful loans to Sallie Mae. The bible says that the borrower is a slave to the lender (Proverbs 22:7) and I wouldn't not like to be Sallie Mae's slave any more!
• Write more. Blog more. Read more; 19 books plus my bible to be exact! (12 fiction, 6 about my faith, 1 complete Bible read through!)
• Explore! Explore my city! Explore my state! Explore other places!
• Aim to be the woman someone would want to marry. Girls always have this LIST of things they want! I'm not fully knocking the list I have one around here somewhere. But I don't want to focus on what I want someone else to be, I want to know what I can bring to a relationship. I believe that part of that is learning more about who I am, learning how to be a (I know its cliche, but) a Proverbs 31 woman. She's really awesome and I do not even touch her yet. There are some things in my life that could use work before I get married! Example: maybe try getting dressed without killing my room in the process, because one day I'll have to share a room. Trust me, I want to get married just as much as the next almost-22-christian girl but, I don't want to focus on what I want someone else to be. I want to focus on what I can be and ways I can one day be a better help mate.
• Pour out everything that is within me to those who want to be discipled. As leaders sometimes our initial response is to want to fix the most troubled kids, even if they don't want to be fixed. We devote so much time and energy into those kids we over look the ones who are hungry. We cannot fix people, only God can. But we can love those kids and pour out endlessly to teach and train the people under your influence that are hungry. It suddenly hit me last night that it is impossible to drain the body of water a waterfall flows into unless you cut off the source. We are those bodies of water that has rivers, creeks, and streams flowing from us. The Lord is the grand majestic waterfall that fills us up. We will never be dry and constantly flowing with fresh water unless we cut off our source.So no more living in the phobia of being drained out. I cannot do everything, but I give my all to the things I am doing.
• Spend more time with my leader. She is basically one of the greatest women ever! She's beautiful, a total Proverbs 31, and just does everything with excellence! I am determined to learn as much from her as I can while I am under her!
• Lastly live 2015 to the fullest with a sparkly, magical, adventurous excellence! 

Did you make any New Year's resolutions? If so let me know what they are! :)

Thoughts on Growing Up a Pastor's Kid

Some times people will ask me, "What do your parents do?", and now that I'm old enough to appreciate what they do I proudly say "Oh, they are pastors!"
Each time I get different responses ranging from "Oh. (long pause) That's nice." or "Wonderful, what church?" But the popular response from my peers is always along the lines of "That must have sucked growing up!"

So I got to thinking about growing up as a pastor's kid or "PK" and what I truly thought of it all. Ya know, I didn't choose to be a pastor's kid,and if you would have asked me when I was a teenager, I wanted the opposite in life. But, thank heavens The Lord did, and that my parents laid down their life to his calling. As a teenager I HATED it (if I'm being honest, I actually hated everything in life. It was like PMS on steroids. Anyone with teenage daughters would understand.) I hated spending hours at church. I hated being there for every single event that was held. I hated how everything I did was some how magically reported back to my parents. I wanted so badly to do what all the "cool kids" were doing; like going to parties and having boyfriends. But it was all the grace of God over my life (even the tattle tails!) That church building became my first home and all the members became family. My best and worst memories lie in that building and all it's events. I discovered the quietest sleeping spots and where to snag snacks in between meetings. I learned that I don't have too many memories with the cousins I'm actually related to but that other leaders kids were (and still are) family. I met the Holy Spirit in that building, and probably have drenched the carpet in tears and snot at some point.
I am a part of a blended family, that now by the grace of God doesn't feel so blended. It just feels like family. But growing up I would house hop from my mom and dad's (step) to my dad's (biological) house. Their beliefs differed tremendously. It was truly the death of me. I got to taste the "freedom" of doing just about whatever I wanted. Then would come back home to more "church, rules and restrictions". So I grew up being able to taste the world without ever experiencing it's consequences and I was hooked. For me it was like eating cake and never gaining weight or loosing energy. On one side of life I was intoxicated with all the bright shinny lies the world had to offer. On the other I was curious about The Lord. I had gotten glimpses of him on those long nights at church that I usually dreaded before my arrival. It was an internal battle that I fought for the majority (if not all) of my teenage years. I never found myself feeling truly comfortable in either realm. When I was at church I would crave the world, and when I was in the world I would crave the peace and security I only found in The Lord. Oh I wanted the world, and I wanted it badly! But watching my parent's lives, I knew I would never be fully satisfied with it. They had peace in storms, the ability to stand for something, work things out, they had favor. Even when things were rocky they stayed grounded.
Long story made short; I went crazy. Me and momma call it my temporary moment of insanity nowadays. I know people say pastor's kids are the worst, but I know they are like everyone else. They have fallen short of the glory of God and are in need of a savior. They have issues and temptations. Even though they've grown up hearing about a savior their hearts have to turn to him as Lord.
In those years of craziness my heart looks back with such a thankfulness towards the church. I remember in my worst moments by far, there were extra sets of mothers and fathers who actually cared about my well being and my soul. There may have been people who were messy, but if I'm honest I don't remember them or what they said. But what I do remember were people who loved me, prayed for me, and talked to me with sincere hearts. My momma once told me "If heaven is real and hell is real; then I'm not gonna stop fighting for your soul." My heart has such a high honor for the church body I consider family. Because when my parent's were waging spiritual warfare for my soul, I know they had a whole church family in the trenches with them. I honestly don't know how I would have made it back to the house of God without them or my parents. The same things I hated about my parents in high school, are the same things I am so thankful for now. They never lowered the standard of what a believer should be to accommodate me in my mess. They kept the standard high and prayed that one day by the grace of God I would reach it, and become all The Lord called me to be.
So growing up in the mist of it all I hated being a pastor's kid. But looking at it now I know the only reason my life has fruit is because my parents faithfully planted seeds, my church family constantly watered, and The Lord brought an increase. Growing up in the church was filled with grace, mercy, and love. Not from all parties, but from the ones that mattered. It was redemptive. Was it always perfect? No, but it shaped me into the woman I am. I don't know where I would be if my parents wouldn't have laid their lives down for The Lord taking care of a bunch of sheep I couldn't stand; that now I've grown to love. It built my foundation and for that I am truly grateful. Grateful for when they fought, when it would have been easier to give in. Grateful for their openness, because it shed light and brought healing. Grateful for the woman they pushed me to be. Grateful that they surrounded me with the things of God, the word, the house of God, and men and women of God.
And my final thoughts on it all? I am forever grateful for the seeds that were planted in me as a child in the house of God. Those same seeds that seemed as if they had died as a teenager. But finally started to bloom and flourish into adulthood.

Welcome!

Hey! I don't know exactly what made you drop by, but whether it was intentional or accidentally, I hope you stay for a while.

What is SBF (Sprout.Bloom.Flourish.)?

I'm learning that as women we must learn to adapt and navigate through all of the different seasons life throws at us. Sometimes seasons overlap, but you grow and process in some areas better than others. It's life; and there is grace for you to be strong and grace for the moments you are weak.

Sprout Bloom Flourish is my life's perspective on finding the beautiful balance in cultivating all of life's seasons. Anyone with a green thumb (and even those without) understand that different plants bloom better with different seasons. Sometimes their are seasons where some plants die so others can bloom. Our lives are the same way. You may have beautiful, big, passionate, God-given dreams, ideas, and plans and find yourself totally frustrated all the time. It's okay, it might not be the proper season. That doesn't mean you can't cultivate the ground and prep yourself for all God has for you.

So my hope and prayer is that when you drop by you feel, refreshed and challenged. That you can laugh and cry if need be. That I'm not just some girl behind a computer screen but someone you can relate to. And that you actually enjoy coming by!

So whether you are trying to Sprout- where you find it challenging to find you're breaking ground. Where things, and sometimes even life, are just hard. Because sometimes the reality is that we walk through spiritual droughts where we are just exhausted. Some day it can be an uphill battle just to find solid ground to dig your roots into. While you are in the process of sprouting it's hard to stay grounded. Even the smallest thing seem like a large task. That's the reality of it; but hey, that's life! You'll find break through and a peace that surpasses all your understanding. Your garden is so very important!

Or Bloom- where you're starting to itch just to explode out of the sweet comfort zone you have suddenly begun to out grow. With growth comes outside (or sometimes even internal) pressure to feel as if you have to bloom in a certain time and way. You are put under inspection, some positive and some negative. But you should not worry about a lawyer's opionion of a flower bed, but do be open to a gardener's pruning. The lawyer expects flowers to grow, doesn't care how it happens, as long as it does. A gardener expects growth but understands that things take time, some buds bloom late. But most of all, how to tend to and nurture a growing flower. Don't loathe this season. It's where the magic is all beginning to happen. And your garden is so very important.

Maybe you're in the season where you can finally Flourish and enjoy the beauty of life, all your dreams coming true, and learning to walk out your calling. Yet you're learning that your dream garden takes serious maintence. Flowers don't only grow when tended to, they also thrive. Sometimes we think our dreams coming true is the end of it. Yet it is only the beginning. Different flowers are more of a struggle to keep alive in different seasons. That is life. And here's to learning how to balance it all with a beautiful grace (that sometimes more than others seems anything but graceful.) Your garden is so very important.

So no matter which season you're in (or maybe you're in all three like me) please grab a hot tea (if you're a cozy night owl) or a fresh cup of coffee (if you're a bright eyed early bird) and just relax for a while. Let's grow together!